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a thank you

In addition to receiving an overwhelming amount of prayers, love and support from friends, relatives, neighbours, church and kind strangers I met in the hospital and ICU waiting room the past few months...
I have also been bombarded with questions as to why I did not inform anyone regarding the unfortunate events we've been going through and how they could've helped... to which I am truly grateful knowing how everyone is so ready to lend us helping hands, and I believe I owe you an apology...

I do not cope very well under the stressful events we went through during these recent circumstances and my emotional and mental unstability led to me not being very responsive.
Anytime anyone show the slightest concern and asked how I am doing, my voice starts to break trying to explain and I find myself sobbing before I even get to explain how it all went wrong. So I may have cut short every concerned person with "we're fine" while trying my hardest to hold myself together and not lose myself which I am afraid could often times come across as me being dismissive...
So I want to make everyone aware that on the contrary me and my family deeply appreciate your concerned prayers, sympathy and compassion despite my withdrawal. 

My dad and I have been taking turns taking care of mom so both of us have been quite sleep-deprived and tired. 
and my slow little brain was quite troubled and  confused that the thought of informing others did not even cross my mind.

While my dad was out working and I was alone with my mom, she needed to use the washroom and as she was done I tried leading her back to bed which was when she collapsed and lost consciousness. 
I tried to carry her but I wasn't strong enough to hold her up which led to both of us falling on the washroom floor. I left my phone in their bed so I couldn't make any calls, I thought of screaming for help but knew I locked the doors so noone could've possibly come in to help... 
So I left my unconscious mom lying on the floor as I left and call my dad for help while begging and praying for her to keep breathing and to hold on to life...
By the time we reached the hospital, although she regained consciousness and was mumbling, they coouldn't find her pulse and she was admitted to ICCU for a 24-hour monitoring and treatment.

Everything happened in a glimpse and it was all so hectic that all I can remember is trying to calm myself so I can take care of the requirements that needed to be done in the hospital. 
It wasn't until a day later that I was able to have the chance to sit down and really process what was going on and when I was mentally in the place to re-trace everything that had happened, it felt like I was on the verge of losing  the one person  I am closest to, the person my whole world revolves around.
So, I did the only thing my weak self was capable of doing- I shut down. 
I am aware that I did not make the smartest choice all along the way which led to me pushing away people that meant well and have been offering helping hands. 
But all things considered, I truly truly appreciate you all so very much!!!
I also hope I can be there to give back for the same and return your kindness.

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