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the inbetweeners

I stumbled upon an ad that caught my eye today, it wasn't the skincare product that made me stop and stare but rather the model advertising the product. I wondered for a second why this pretty woman looks so familiar until I realised it's the woman you've been seeing the past years since the last time we spoke. 

The thought of you hardly crossed my mind anymore, like I am sure I barely ever cross your mind. But today I looked back down the memory lane of us and I tried to pin point exactly where we grew apart.

Was it the last time I flew by that city, made you wait for 2 hours in the dinner reservation you booked and I left the bouquet of flowers you brought in my hotel to die?

or was it that time you sent my mom bouquet but I switched off my phone when you called and the delivery had to leave it outside just for it to be stolen?

or was it that time you sent a note with chocolate and flowers in college and I had my ex pick it up for me?

or was it that time I drunk text you to tell you that I was never gonna break it off with my man but I still wanted you hanging around so I can run to you whenever he and I fought?

is it one of those things or a combination of it all? 

I remember you getting frustrated, telling me that you're so tired of the shits I pull, that you were done.

But I mean, you say that a thousand freaking times over a period of half a decade that I stopped believing you. 

I guess this time, you really are done. 

You always liked the attention you get on social media and airports. Well, the airport is basically your kingdom where you strutted with your pilot uniform and your "captain" batch. You loved showing off the things you have and own. I like to keep you private and hidden which is one of the things that upset you the most. I am glad you now find someone who according to her social media seems to share the same value as you. Your scorching hot super model girlfriend seems to like showing you off to her 1 million instagram followers with the hashtag that says "insta couple" and her fans commenting how the captain pilot dating a super model was such a "couple goals". 

I don't miss you staying in phone all night so I won't feel lonely, I don't miss you sending me bouquets in every city I land, I don't miss our yearly new years eve scheduled call time we have every year. I am glad you were around when my immature emotionally unstable younger self needed someone. But now that I don't need a shoulder to lean on I think I am genuinely happy for you, not just in a way to cover up jealousy. 

You and I have always been too different in a way that I just cannot stand you at times and we both know we could never make it work. So I am glad you find someone who accepts you and loves you for who you are although the shits you do irritate the shit out of me, she seems to find those shit of yours funny and entertaining. And you deserve that - someone who will love the shit out of the shits you do. 

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