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An infatuation that will pass

Telling you that I am reminded of your cat just to avoid admitting that I think of you

 (to be deleted before the person actually see this)

The thought of you haven't crossed my mind in quite sometime now until today, I came across a song which reminded me of your cat, then my thoughts start to wonder off to how you used to make me feel. I wonder how you have been, it's been a while isn't it?

I heard you met someone, i heard she's a sweet grad school student- an ivy league undergrad, just like you. Seems you two have a lot in common. I heard she loves cats, just like you and that you took her to cat cafe for your 2nd date, that sounds puurrrfect. I heard you're starting to love New York since she happened. I can't help but wonder how she must be, and by the end of the day I find myself looking up all your friend's profile hoping to see if your dates with her have been going well. So there I was, looking at pictures of you in tuxedo with your arms around a girl in a tight black dress who almost spill her champagne glass from laughing. "This's quite unhealthy", I tell myself as I keep staring at every inch of her body comparing myself to this perfect woman in your arms. 

She's better than I am in every single way, an ivy league graduate, so she's a hundred times smarter and hard-working than I am. She looks so pretty and perfect, it's quite clear she's better than I am in every single way. 

My mind is racing with the thoughts of her today, to a point it's almost overwhelming. If you knew how these make me feel, your kind hearted soul will probably feel awful, you'de probably tell me how beautiful I am inside and out, how I deserve someone better than you. I know you a little too well. And that is exactly why you shall never know how seeing your name pops up in my screen gives me the adrenaline rush, how I often fantasise bout what we could be. I do not want your pity or your patronising compliments telling me I will find someone better. If the feelings aren't going to be reciprocal, I would take this to my grave.

And this is how I will pour out the overwhelming feelings I have for you telling myself that it is just an infatuation that will pass. 

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Comments

  1. Sir DApril 16, 2022 at 10:22 AM

    Well someday this story will make sense. What will hit will never miss you and what will miss you will never hit you.

    ReplyDelete

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