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An infatuation that will pass

Telling you that I am reminded of your cat just to avoid admitting that I think of you

 (to be deleted before the person actually see this)

The thought of you haven't crossed my mind in quite sometime now until today, I came across a song which reminded me of your cat, then my thoughts start to wonder off to how you used to make me feel. I wonder how you have been, it's been a while isn't it?

I heard you met someone, i heard she's a sweet grad school student- an ivy league undergrad, just like you. Seems you two have a lot in common. I heard she loves cats, just like you and that you took her to cat cafe for your 2nd date, that sounds puurrrfect. I heard you're starting to love New York since she happened. I can't help but wonder how she must be, and by the end of the day I find myself looking up all your friend's profile hoping to see if your dates with her have been going well. So there I was, looking at pictures of you in tuxedo with your arms around a girl in a tight black dress who almost spill her champagne glass from laughing. "This's quite unhealthy", I tell myself as I keep staring at every inch of her body comparing myself to this perfect woman in your arms. 

She's better than I am in every single way, an ivy league graduate, so she's a hundred times smarter and hard-working than I am. She looks so pretty and perfect, it's quite clear she's better than I am in every single way. 

My mind is racing with the thoughts of her today, to a point it's almost overwhelming. If you knew how these make me feel, your kind hearted soul will probably feel awful, you'de probably tell me how beautiful I am inside and out, how I deserve someone better than you. I know you a little too well. And that is exactly why you shall never know how seeing your name pops up in my screen gives me the adrenaline rush, how I often fantasise bout what we could be. I do not want your pity or your patronising compliments telling me I will find someone better. If the feelings aren't going to be reciprocal, I would take this to my grave.

And this is how I will pour out the overwhelming feelings I have for you telling myself that it is just an infatuation that will pass. 

Comments

  1. Well someday this story will make sense. What will hit will never miss you and what will miss you will never hit you.

    ReplyDelete

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